Bride Vanessa wrote: "I’m trying to choose the perfect wedding date. Where do I begin?"
Dear, dear Vanessa–There are many things to consider when choosing your wedding date. Before I got married, I looked all over the ‘net to see what the wise guys had to say about selecting an auspicious wedding date. I remember reading something about the Feast of Ghosts which was a few days when you should never plan a significant event, but, I can’t find that now. Still looking. I even considered throwing the I Ching. My then boyfriend saw my head twisting around about it and he relieved me of my pain by saying simply, "The day we get married WILL be a special date." Tsk. He’s so smart.
Most of you will not get married the way we did. And I’m also certain many of you are not obsessive as I am. I want to be you when I grow up. Your date will present itself because that’s when your chosen venue will be available or that’s when your fiance’/fiancee’ will be home.
You’ll have a much easier time of it if your wedding and reception are at the same place, otherwise, you’ll have to do a bit of juggling to sync your wedding location availability with your reception location availability. Don’t forget, too, that if you’re working with two sites, you will have to factor in your transportation between. And then you’ll have to make sure Betty is available on that date/time, too. Aaaaaas well as your first choice photographer, videographer, floral designer, wedding coordinator…let the head twisting begin! And this, dearie, is why it is never too early to start planning your wedding.
If your heart says "Saturday night in June", or May, July, September, October, you will also be competing with legions of other brides for primo wedding vendor talent. If you choose a Friday night, you’ll have a little easier time of it, BUT, then you have to consider Friday night traffic and the nightmares it can create, so plan accordingly. Sunday morning is a very civilized time for a wedding. You can save money by serving brunch fare and going easier on the adult beverages. And besides, you have the entire rest of the afternoon/evening to savor your wedding day.
So, let’s say you’re going to wait until you both graduate from college and have bought your house. That’s at least a couple years out. You have your choice of ANY date you please. Here’s some stuff to consider:
1. Your chosen date sh/could contain as many even numbers as possible. Like February 26, or April 22, or August 18. Even numbers are lucky. Except the number 4. Some dieties don’t like the number 4.
2. Sometimes people choose a date with special meaning, e.g. lunar calendar September 9 is a festival for family reunions, and number Nine means "forever". Or how about a significant date in history? Or your hero’s birthday? Check out historynet.com or datesinhistory.com. July 22 is my anniversary AND Danny Glover’s birthday…I wish I had known that when I loaned him my parking pass last month. July 22 is also the day the Beatles released "Introducing the Beatles" in 1963! You could choose the date of a successful marriage like Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward’s (December 29 as best I can tell), or your parents’ or grandparents’ anniversaries which is also a special way to honor them.
3. Pick a date that won’t conflict with holidays if you’re inviting out-of-town guests, as holiday travel can be expensive and "difficult". That’s The Dove Lady’s term. I have a different one. By the same token, if you’d like to limit your guest list, set your date for Thanksgiving Day!
4. It is also easier to make plans for a weekday than on the weekend. Friday nights, not so much, but sometimes you can get screamin’ deals for a Monday morning…especially in January.
5. What’s your favorite season? Have you dreamed of taking your vows by candlelight in front of a crackling fire? Winter. A barefoot beach or garden wedding? Summer. Fall color? The rebirth of Spring? You can also check my Phases of the Moon link on my "About Dove Releases" page and look at dates when there’s a full moon.
6. Are lots and lots of gorgeous flowers part of your plan? Prices can be higher during the period between Valentine’s Day and Mother’s Day. You might want to talk to your professional floral designer before you select your date. Callas, lilacs, and lily-of-the-valley are spring bloomers. You can probably get them year ’round, but, listen…hear that? Cha-ching! The price goes up!
Our wedding date was chosen for us by a bride who called me on Saturday, July 20, and was planning her wedding for Monday, July 22. I asked her how much planning she had already accomplished. "None." So she hired me and my then boyfriend and the person who helped us with our marriage license who we both knew from the circuit. So, then on July 22, as my intended (actually, we were officially Domestic Partners–that was a fun ceremony, too!) was leaving for the gig, I was watching "A Wedding Story". He noticed and said, "We can do that, too." I don’t know what he really meant by that, but I didn’t say a word. The "P-Word" (Planning) is not his strong suit, but it’s where less is more factors in. He left, I cranked it into overdrive, ran out, got my flowers, came home, gathered the doves, showered, assembled my bouquet (trust me, girlfriend, it’s not as easy as you would think!), put on my "wedding dress" (a second-hand blue, sage and pink rayon floral number with crystal buttons), did my hair up with baby (something) blue rhinestone bobby pins and (something old) vintage diamond hair clip. We exchanged vows in their front yard after their ceremony and before their reception in under two minutes. It was perfect! BTW–Did you know there’s only room on the marriage license for one witness to sign? I guess your Best Man and Maid of Honor will have to Rochambeau (Reaux Sham Beaux, Roshambo) (I calls it the scientific method of decision making ) for the honor.
From The Even More Superfluous Information Department–it’s said to be luckier to start your ceremony on the half hour, because the minute hand (and your married life) will be on the upswing, rather than the downswing.
Whatever date you choose, it WILL be the perfect day, because it will be your anniversary for years to come. Allow yourself plenty of time putting it all together, learn to delegate, embrace offers of help, and remember, it’s YOUR wedding. Opinions/advice you don’t care much for may be guiltlessly filed appropriately. Just remember to do it nicely. Questions on any of this? Ask The Dove Lady!
The Dove Lady has been very grateful for all the really nice brides she’s been honored to work with over the past almost 16 years and cringes every time she hears the "B"-word (Bridezilla). She thinks Bridezilla is an urban legend created by a vendor who didn’t do their job.