Oh, I don’t like to be this way, but it is SO hurts me to see lovely ladies with raggedy-a** feet. Now, I’m not saying you’re required to have a perfect pedicure at all times. But, sit down and pick up a foot. If it’s smooth and pristine, you, my dear, are a delicate flower. But, most likely and unless you’ve paid specific attention, the edges of your heels will be, at best, grayish, and at worst, gray and dry and cracked. (cringe)
I started writing this last summer. The birds and I had just been to a lovely wedding with a very well dressed crowd. I always love the fashion show, but then I immediately zoom in on the shoes. And, when I’m scanning shoes, I can’t help but notice feet. One young lady was THAT close to getting bestowed with my "Best Dressed" award, but I wanted to tell her, "Sweetie pie, if you’re going to wear shoes like that, you have GOTS to pay some attention to the feets, too." I mean, like she owes it to her fans.
So how ’bout you? If you just glanced down and winced, it will take a little work, but you can fix it before The First Sandals of Spring. If you have the money/time to get regular pedicures by a practitioner who really cares, s/he can work on them for a few weeks and whip ‘em into shape. If you would rather spend your money on ice cream, here’s all you need:
1. I don’t know what you call it, but it looks like a nutmeg grater. It’s designed to clean up the edge of your heel where the bottom of your foot stops and the top of your foot starts. Soak your feet for a good 10 minutes first or do it at the end of your shower.
2. Let your feet dry thoroughly. Your heels will still be rough, so that’s when you pull out your 2-in-1 Diamond Dust Pedicure Wand. I found mine a couple years ago and it’s by far the best tool in my Box ‘o Beauty. It serves the same purpose as a pumice, but is far prettier to look at, and doesn’t get all yukky in the shower. And works FAR better. It will never need to be replaced. Sally Hansen makes a pretty chrome version, too. Buff your feet a little tonight, a little more tomorrow night. Don’t expect to do it all at once and don’t be in a hurry.
3. Never, ever, EVER! use a razor blade or other slicing implements on your feet. You will pay. Sorely. Literally. I can’t believe they even make those things.
4. After you’ve buffed your feet with the pedicure wand, all you need now is some lotion or cream. And a foot rub.
Girlfriends, you’re gonna thank me the next time your sweet patootie reaches for your feet. Wouldn’t it be a shame to have to yank them away from him because you’re just a little teeny, tiny bit embarrassed of their condition? So while you’re at it, a little nail polish never hurt anybody, either. And there are no rules about color. Use whatever makes you go, "oooh!" even if it’s neon orange (you young’ns!). I had a dream I had silver toenails, so I went out and got a bottle of silver nail polish. It was fun. Once. And I don’t mean to be a critic…I do not! Do not! NOT! …but what’s up with the French manicure on toes?
Since we’re on the subject of manicures, if you’re in a hurry and want to spruce up your hands, have one of those little white pencils at the ready. They’re in the nail polish department. Dampen your fingertips and run that white pencil under your nails. Instant French manicure. If you have just a little bit more time, apply a top coat of clear polish. And if you have lots more time, but not enough to go to the spa, use some white nail polish under your nail tips and a clear coat on top. Looks much more natural than a regular French manicure. WAY cheaper, too.
One other thing…if you’re going to get your nails done for your wedding, do not do it the morning of while you’re getting your hair did. You’ll wreck ‘em before they get a chance to dry. Do it the day before or pick a time when you’ll have an hour or so to sit and relax for a while. You’d think a person would know better, but I witnessed a last minute decision by a bride to polish her nails. Sure ’nuff–got some on her dress. So she started crying. And wrecked her mascara. Kinda had the domino thing goin’ on there.
And this is totally off the subject sort of, but it also involves planning. I thought all of y’all tried on your gowns with your shoes and walked around and stretched and danced, just to make sure everything stayed where it should. I saw a bride last summer coming out of the church and she had to kick her dress out with every step. IT WAS TOO LONG! I just don’t know how that can happen. A bridal salon would never allow it. It was a really pretty dress, too. All ball-gowny and tulle full. I try to mind my own business…do, too. DO, TOO! but, I wanted to run and get my scissors out of the glove department and ask if I could help. Tulle is very easy to cut and doesn’t require a finished edge. And whatever the innermost layer was would be covered by the tulle. I wonder how she made it through the night, ‘cuz it was only going to get worse once she kicked off her shoes.
SHOES–tsk, this is another one. It’s going to be a very long day. And, sure, you can switch to something more comfortable later, but consider the difference in the height of the comfy shoes and the length of your dress. If you’re a ser’us partier, you can change change your dress, too. I’ve heard of brides changing three times! TMM.
From the Why The Gods Invented DVRs Department–Program your macheen to record every single episode of "Whose Wedding Is It Anyway?" Not only is it a good, get-in-the-mood show, but you’ll also get some good ideas, inspiration, and "do not do this!" warnings.
The Dove Lady fits in her regular pedicures while she’s watching hours worth of "Whose Wedding Is it, Anyway?", and spring, summer, fall, winter, her toenails are pink. She feels she owes it to her fans.