I remember a time in my life when the only motivation to open my utility bill was knowing there was a recipe in the newsletter that accompanied the bad news.  I've always loved to cook, bake, especially, and have collected reams of recipes over the years.  So recalling the fun of a monthly recipe, I'll be including a sporadic recipe for you in "Notes..."  

So!  'Tis the season--especially for homemade chocolate pudding!  Jello makes a very decent pudding mix (the cooked, not the instant), but since I like to avoid packaging whenever I can, I prefer to create from (semi-)scratch*.  This is a recipe I got from Martha.  The first time I made it, it came out stiff, so I halved the number of yolks (her's called for four!) and the amount of cornstarch, used brown instead of white sugar, and used part soy milk, since we always have that in abundance.  Just so ya know, I've forgotten to add the butter and vanilla at the end several times, and it still tastes good.  But, it adds to the flavor layering, just like the addition of brown (dark, pref) sugar.

chocolate pudding

 2/3 cups brown sugar

2 1/2 Tbsp. cornstarch

1/4 tsp. salt

1/3 cup unsweetened baking cocoa

1 cup cream plus 2 cups soy milk (or 3 cups cow milk)

2 egg yolks

2 Tbsp. butter

1 tsp vanilla

Just 'cuz I know you're the curious type, too, did you ever wonder where the saying, "once in a blue moon" came from?  A blue moon is the second full moon within any calendar month.  "Once in a blue moon" means something that happens infrequently, just like a blue moon which occurs approximately every 32 months.  For your planning purposes, the next blue moon will occur on December 31, 2009.  So you still have time to plan your wedding or New Year's Eve soiree with a "blue moon" theme! 

If a year from now is still a little too soon to commit (take your time, please), the next blue moon will occur in August of 2012.  You can check for future blue moons, full moons, solar/lunar eclipses and other celestial occurrances on my About Dove Releases page.  You'll find icons for Sunset, Weather, Holidays, Calendar, Moon Phases, Eclipses, and I even included, for your ease in selecting the loveliest live music for your celebration, a link to Music A Due/Harp & Flute (harpflute.com).

From the Other Celestial Occurrences Department-- If you're planning a 2010 wedding OR if you'd consider delaying your honeymoon for the most romantic trip ever, you might want to consider viewing the total eclipse of the sun from a Tahitian vantage point on July 11, 2010.  You will cruise on board the Star Flyer, a 180 passenger sailing yacht with four masts, 21 sails, and a crew of 72, for 10 days including stops in Moorea, Bora Bora, and other paradisiacal ports.  Get all the info here.

The Dove Lady's Bon Voyage Soiree will be held on July 5, 2010.  

...in The Yellow Brick Road and be a part of history as Sacramento, California's very own Fairytale Town begins construction on their latest feature!  Inspired by the original from The Wizard of Oz, our Yellow Brick Road will start just outside the Humpty Dumpty Gates (right across from The Sacramento Zoo!) and form an ever widening spiral, leading visitors inside Fairytale Town.  For $100, you can get a brick with your name, your children's names or any family friendly message of three lines of up to 15 characters each.  Do it for posterity! 

You can get more information at www.fairytaletown.org or download an order form directly, here.

The Dove Lady thinks they should have at least named it VivAnna.

Tsk. I have a new pet peeve. It's people who don't maintain their hummingbird feeders. I know I can't save the world OR hummingbirds, but I have to try.

Unless you have a large charm of hummingbirds that drain your feeder every couple days, that's how often you have to clean and refill it. In the winter you can get away with once a week, but when it's warm, I have to clean mine every two, three days tops. If you want to dedicate yourself to those little creatures, you have to be diligent. And having a feeder that's easy to clean helps.  Hanging them in a shaded spot slows down spoilage.  Protect from rain, too. 

I went through my fair share of cheap h-bird feeders and those upside down bottle types with the spout were the worst. The air inside the feeder would expand as it warmed, pushing the nectar out, creating a larger air pocket which would then continue warming and expanding. Results--an empty feeder, a puddle of nectar on your patio, and the eventual intrusion of ants.  Not to mention disappointed hummingbirds.  And bees quickly learn to to foil the "bee guard" and their presence can discourage h-birds.  And they are impossible to clean properly.

My feeder of choice today is the HummZinger. They're flying saucer shaped, so they won't drip (pretty, too!), and they even have a perch so the hummers can take a load off while they sip. I would recommend at least a 12 oz-er, and filling it half way. That way you won't be wasting nectar that they won't drink before it starts spoiling. Eventually, you'll be drawing crowds, then you can fill them fuller. HOWEVER, hummingbirds are some of the fiercest-for-their-size birds I've ever witnessed, and one will claim a feeder as its own and duke it out with other hummingbirds who DARE to encroach. So that means you have to install more feeders, because you aren't going to be able to teach them to play nice and share.

The recipe for hummingbird juice is one cup cane sugar to four cups water (boil water, add sugar, stir, cool--for temps higher than 95F, you can use five parts water, because the birds will drink more frequently). For some reason, you shouldn't use beet sugar.  And no honey!  Other kinds of sugar like brown, tubinado, or raw contain iron that can be deadly.  You don't need to use food coloring if you're using the right feeder. And you are not doing the critters any favors by concocting your own nutrient-filled recipe.

Whitebird Ceremonial Dove Releases was inspired by the closing ceremonies of the 1984 Summer Olympics in Los Angeles.  I was working on a project in my downtown apartment, television humming in the background.  I glanced up at the TV just as they released 1,500 (I learned later) white birds, and I burst into tears, I thought it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen!  I never forgot that moment over the next several years, so I researched, asked questions, and as a world class procrastinator, began Whitebird several years later.

This summer it will be 24 years since I witnessed those closing ceremonies.  And it seems like yesterday I'd sit in the loft, bundled against the cold watching for hours my first breeding pairs do their thang, imagining what was to come (I had NO idea!), and sometimes even falling asleep in my chair as the days grew shorter in fall and winter.

Whitebird has since, if I do say so myself, blazed the trail and promoted the traditional release of white doves by educating the public on the difference in using white homing pigeons that are trained to fly home quickly and safely.  I remember my first years doing wedding shows--nobody had ever seen it before!  And some had heard it was cruel to release doves.  I jumped at every opportunity to explain that, yes, releasing ring-necked doves WAS cruel, since they couldn't find their way home or find food in the wild.  But not only can white homing pigeons fly home upon release, but they put on the most magical show as they circle overhead before heading home.  Be sure to see my new video!

Many are the times I've received phone calls from people who don't have an event in mind, but just want to get the straight scoop.  I've always been a curious person myself, so I really love those people and welcome those phone calls.  Each one is a believer when they hang up.  Only a couple million to go.     

"If you don't like someone, the way he holds his spoon will make you furious; if you do like him, he can turn his plate over into your lap and you won't mind."

Irving Becker said that.  I don't know who Irving Becker is, but he's right.

The Dove Lady LOVES her birds and doesn't mind at all having to feed and water and tidy up after them every day, twice a day, even when they're not working.  If she didn't love them, they'd be in deep doo-doo.  And she begs you forgive her English.

Confidential to "K"--

                 If it hurts, it's not love.

Ever since we got our Saeco Classico and its younger sister, Aroma, I realized how easy it is to duplicate otherwise spendy beverages at home.  My latest discovery is Torani Almond Roca syrup in my lattes.  OH!  Smart & Final has a good selection of other flavors AND the pumps, too, so you don't have to mess with sticky bottles.  Here's some standard fare I've recreated at home, along with a few I concocted on my own brain power:

1.  My darling and I like the matcha green tea shots at Jamba, but we don't like the price.  SO, I bought some matcha green tea at Oto's, and now we mix the shots up ourselves.  I use my Tupperware tumblers, about 4 oz. of juice (orange, pink lemonade, pomegranate, mango...), toss in a couple ice cubes, 1/2-1 tsp. of matcha green tea (that's the powdered stuff made for tea ceremonies).  Put the lid on it (make sure the seal is tight), and shake 'til well blended.  I thought they were better than Jamba's, but there was always a mess around the tea cannister.  I now buy my matcha green tea wrapped individually in five gram amounts.  One is 1/2 tsp., two packets make 1 tsp.  Stays fresh and you can keep a stash in your purse and/or gym bag.

2.  Frappucinos...yum.  Smart & Final has Ghirardelli Frappe Classico, Double Chocolate and Classic White powdered mixes in a 3 lb. cannister.  Follow the instructions on the can or get creative!

3.  I got creative.  When I have bananas that are a bit too ripe to eat right out of the peel, I peel them, wrap them in plastic wrap and toss 'em in the freezer.  When the mood strikes, I haul out the blender, pour in one cup of milk (we use Silk soy), seven(ish) ice cubes, a scoop of Double Chocolate Frappe Classico, a frozen ripe banana, and a heaping spoonful or two of Greek Gods Honey Yogurt (GGHY deserves a "Notes..." entry all for itself).   You can adjust amounts to your taste.  I calls 'em Anna Banana Shakes. 

4.  Never freeze a banana with the peel on.  Just trust me on this. 

5.  I would never do this, but if you don't like chocolate (and just for fun, send me a note and tell me about your planet, and how you found my website!), get the Classic White Frappe mix and whoosh it up with blueberries or other fresh frozen fruit.

6.  This isn't cheap, but sometimes easy trumps cheap.  Probably everybody knows about Jose Cuervo's just-add-ice-margarita-in-a-bottle.  I discovered it at a wedding years ago.  It was my last job of a very long day hauling the doves around, and the bride insisted!  Refusing would have been rude, right Michaela?  The just-add-ice margarita is SO easy, not to mention the instant gratification factor, but I think it's a bit on the potent side, because it's designed to be whooshed up with ice.  I don't always want to have to pull out equipment, so I dilute it with pomegranate juice.  Yum-oh!  And pretty, too.  If you want to garnish it for parties, wedge up a blood orange and let it ride the rim.  For you snobs (am not...am NOT!) that insist on Patrón Gold, the JC margarita mix is just fine for instant margaritas a la Patrón!   

7.  I'm digressing, but for the prettiest cocktails that call for a sugared rim, buy a bag of sanding sugar.  You can find it at Cake Castle or other stores that carry cake decorating items.  It's very easy (and cheap!) to color/flavor your own (ask me!).  Experiment, then, brides especially, create and name a signature cocktail for your celebration!

8.  I'll be adding more as I remember them, so be sure to check back!

The Dove Lady's definition of  Hell is having sticky on her fingers and no place to wash up.  And she thinks white chocolate is wrong, just wrong.  In so many ways. 

One of the classiest details I've ever seen at a wedding is live musicians playing at the ceremony.  Yes, there is a time and a place for a professional D.J. and s/he is worth his/her weight in gold for getting your party started and keepin' it rockin'.  But nothing compares to, say, a harp & flute duo playing everything from traditional to popular pieces as you take your much anticipated walk down the aisle.  That's them on my home page.

I'd like to say I've seen it all over the past 18 years, but I still brace myself for what's to come.  A few years ago, the birds and I attended a wedding at a lovely facility.  They had a D.J. for their ceremony.  So, I was waiting for things to get underway...okay, showtime--there's the groom and his mom, flower girls, there's the bridesmaids, ring bearer, all the usual suspects taking their positions...then the bride's music started.  It was the duet version of "From This Moment". 

From the Digression Department--The first time I heard "From this Moment" at a wedding, I thought it was among the cheesier selections I'd ever heard.  But, now!?!  I LOVE THAT SONG!  When it comes on the radio, I call my husband and sing it to him.  (Talk about cheesy--he tolerates me very well. ) 

From the Further Digression And Speaking of Cheesy Department--I was at a beautiful church wedding last year.  The birds and I had just finished doing our thang, and as I was departing, I heard footfalls behind me closing in fast.  I turned around and there was the wedding coordinator.  She said, and I quote verbatim, VERY enthusiastically, I might add: "When (Bride) said she was going to  release white doves, I thought that sounded cheesy, but actually, it was VERY beautiful!"  I blushed and thanked her, and chalked up one more believer for the books.

Anyway, I now think "From This Moment" is a lovely non-traditional choice for the bride's processional.  But, here's what happened...bride was in place on her father's arm, music started, bride started walking.  Now here's the thing.  There are a couple versions of that song, and this particular one had that really long intro.  By the time the bride had finished her walk down the aisle and took her place next to the groom, the intro had JUST finished, and we only got a few words out of Shania before the D.J. had to cut the music.  Maybe no one else noticed, but I was terribly disappointed.  Did I mention I LOVE that song?

Live musicians can adjust the music to make it fit perfectly to whatever's going on.  Okay, you say, you timed your unity candle ceremony and it will take 1.5 minutes?  Great.  A D.J. can queue up 1.5 minutes of your selected music.  But what if your lighter won't light?  What if it takes longer to get that candle to stay lit?  What if the wind keeps blowing them out?  These can all be charming parts of your wedding story, but the minute and a half your D.J. prepared for is history, and everybody's still giggling over that stupid lighter!   

It CAN be different with a professional D.J., but there's only so much a human can do with what the gods hand you on your wedding day.  What YOU can do is call Music A Due'/Harp & Flute, (916) 456-8223.  And go to their website and hear their music.  These guys play like ANgels!  And because they've played together for SO long, as their website states, they're like Borgs, always in sync, always anticipating the other's moves.  Listen to the fifth selection under "Popular".  Moon River.  Story is, that intro wasn't planned by the flutist, it just happened.  Hard to believe that sound comes out of mere mortals. 

Eighteen years and over a thousand weddings to my name means I've seen alot.  Here's a few P-POOs that come to mind:

1.  I would never suggest you hurry your ceremony along just because your guests skipped lunch to make room for the fabulous feast that awaits them.  But, all those songs that make up the story of the night you met, your courtship, that wonderful weekend away when s/he proposed, do not all have to be played during your ceremony.  Save some of the fun for your reception.  Have your D.J. explain the significance of each song during the party.  Tres romantic!

2.  When it comes to weddings, "professional musician" means they have a history of performing at weddings.  Just performing professionally doesn't qualify.  Both is a plus! 

3.  Wedding professionals know the drill, and will offer you selections for different parts of your ceremony, such as your prelude music (as your guests arrive), all the way through your recessional..and then some.

4.  Hear their music.  Most will have samples on their websites.  Listen and compare.

5.  You can also extend the elegance of live music to your cocktail hour prior to dinner, as well as entertaining out-of-town guests the following morning for an open-the-gifts brunch. 

6.  Playlists are good, but chances are you wouldn't recognize some of your favorite music by their names.  Ask to hear particular pieces, or better, have the musicians make suggestions.

The Dove Lady LOVES to open presents, especially her own (second best is watching others open theirs), almost as much as she likes French toast, applewood smoked bacon, and mango mimosas for brunch.  And she thinks the harpist and the flutist of Music A Due'  (www.harpflute.com) must be lesser gods.   

I'm sorry.  You can't just call three D.J.s and ask them what they charge.  All you will get is numbers and you need WAY more than that to plan your celebration.  It will take gruntwork, just like hiring your photographer...so many choices your head will spin--go see 'ems...apples, oranges, kiwis, guavas...  Unless you have someone on your team who can narrow your list to a few tried, true, experienced party pros (that would be your cousin who's been married seven times or a professional wedding coordinator), this is going to eat up some time.

As is with almost all other wedding vendors, the product they offer and the service by which they deliver it are also VERY important if you care at all about having a successful party.  How are you supposed to know what to ask?  Some will offer you a list of questions, which is very helpful.  But, you have to get more...a second, third, 17th opinion.  Ask ALL your friends about their weddings.  Ask your other vendors.

I am NOT, by any means, an expert on D.J.s, much less hiring one.  Never done it myself, nor have I seen that many in action.  By the time a D.J. starts the party, the doves and I are ususally home, fed, and on our perches for the night.  But, I ask lots of questions whenever I can, because I'm the curious type, and having rubbed shoulders with many of them for the last 18 years, I do know that there is a Sacramento D.J. for every style, personality, and budget.  So what you want for your party is where you can start narrowing down your choices.

So you've made some calls?  You never needed a D.J. before, so, of course, you're mortified at their prices.  Sorry, again.  A great D.J. is an invaluable...no, they're THEE tool for a successful party.  It's true, MAYbe anyone can spin CDs.  But, not everyone knows the ins/outs/whys/wherefores and anatomy of a wedding reception.  Many have lots of other gadgets they can bring to the party, including lighting.  Ask them.  Talent and personality is a must, experience is really important, but everyone has to start somewhere.  But, be forwarned if hiring a newbie...I've seen them come and go...really fast.

There are MANY people out there calling themselves D.J.s and it's just impossible to look into their souls and know what kind of party they'll craft for you.  If budget is an issue, do this exercise--this is how I buy shoes.  I pretend to walk away and then try to imagine how I'll feel the next day.  Will I regret not making that purchase?  It's sorta the same with your D.J.--will you wish you'd spent the money on a professional the day after your wedding?  Here's some homework.  Write this 100 times, long hand, preferably.  You CAN'T type it on your 'puter and copy and paste.  That would be cheating.  Here it is:  If they can't compete with their product, they compete with their price.   Keep this in mind when hiring all your wedding vendors.

Again, I am not an expert on D.J.s, so I can only share stories about things I've witnessed.  I only mention a few, because these bloopers, and variations thereof, have been duplicated countless times over the years.  And besides, I don't want to scare you.

1.  I called a groom the day before his wedding last December and asked how everything was going.  Sounding ever so slightly frantic, he said we was "driving all over town to find a CD!"  I asked him who his D.J. was.  His answer?  "A friend."  A professional D.J. will HAVE that music, saving you TONS of time, not to mention brain room, taking care of those details for you.

2.  Was at a wedding--everyone but the bride had taken their place at the "altar", and all eyes were at the back waiting for her entrance.  Oh, she was there, alright, but she was waiting for her music.  Turned out, the CD she gave her D.J. wouldn't play on his equipment.  Guess who the D.J. was?  A co-worker.  A professional D.J. will help you choose your music AND you can be assured he has checked the format (especially for home burned CDs) and that his equipment will handle it.

3.  Hire a professional.

I started writing about each of the following D.J. companies individually, and found that I was saying the same things over and over.  I've known most of them (and love ALL of them!) since I started Whitebird, or shortly thereafter, which was 18 years ago.  They're fun!  They're professional!  Very energetic!  Highly experienced!  Go beYOND the call of duty!  Remember--you are entrusting this person with your celebration.  Here are my faves, in alphabetical order.  Calling all of them will not only be an education, but you will see/hear for yourself their differences.  You will find at least ONE of them is a perfect match for your style and your budget!

A&A Music Events, 916 714-9099, www.aamusicevents.com

Creative Memories DJ, 916 714-9099, www.creativememoriesdj.com

DJ Crooner & Assoc., 916 722-5971, www.djcrooner.com

Entertainment Team, 816 933-5882, www.entertainmentteam.com

Exquisite Entertainment, 916 925-7873, www.exquisitedjs.com

Extreme Productions, 916 773-4329,  www.extremeprodjs.com

Imagine Events, (916) 616-3828, www.imagineeventsinc.com

J.D. Productions, 916 786-6935, www.JDProDJ.com

Music In Motion, 916 923-DJ4U (3548),  www.formotion.com

Music On The Move, 916 991-3738, www.musiconthemovedjs.com

Premier Entertainment, (916) 565-3700, www.premierentertainment.biz

Supernatural SoundZ, (915) 685-6935, www.supernaturalsoundz.com

Be sure to read this other "Notes..." entry I wrote regarding music for your wedding and reception: "All The Way Live Musicians".  It includes another unfortunate scenario from when one of my brides hired a non-professional dj.

Even though the Dove Lady has no plans, yet,  for  the  soiree to showcase her wedding cake, she is already planning her Lotto party.  And her D.J. will be instructed to limit the playlist to all Beatles, all night,  1960 through December 8, 1980, in chron order, then repeat. 

(tsk) My husband feels sorry for me.  He thought that after we got married, I would stop watching "A Wedding Story" and all those other weddingy shows.  He knows that when he's surfin' channels, it takes me a micro second to hone in on one.  And that it's a good idea to stop clickin'.  Marital harmony, and all, knowwhuttumsayin'?  I think he's starting to get the fact that I love weddings!  Anybody's wedding!  Whoever's getting married! 

And what he doesn't know is that I had been planning our wedding for a long time in numerous 3 a.m. sessions.  I still couldn't decide between summer or winter.  I always thought Christmas Eve would be a perfect time for a wedding.  It's my siblings-in-law, Dan and Stella's, anniversary.  But, I know that in spite of the early October plans to sip egg nog by the fire on Christmas Eve while gazing into each other's eyes, it usually turns into last minute create-a-thon, so my darling doesn't have to navigate last minute shoppers at the mall.

I never wanted a big wedding.  Actually, getting married was never even a goal of mine.  But, you can't be in the wedding business and not compile at least a mental list of what yours would be like.  LOADS of flowers would figure prominently in mine: a bouquet of white lilacs and white peonies hand tied with pale blue ribbon, gobs of same with gardenias, white and cream and palest pink roses, and lily-of-the-valley.  The yard would be lit with candleiers hanging from sky hooks (I still haven't figured that one out, yet).  The ceremony would be very brief, but at that part where the officiant said, "...love, honor, and respect," a huge gospel choir who had snuk in the back gate would start a rockin' acapella rendition of Aretha Franklin's R-E-S-P-E-C-T and march down the aisle and all around  and then back out the other gate.  And I mean R-O-C-K-I-N'!!

And a GREAT! cake--a gigantic Seville Marnier Torte with gumpaste gardenias and palest pink camellias tumbling down the sides, and a sculpture of us, our two cats, Chloe and Lulu (who are with us only in spirit now), Molly (our very low maintenance baby girl), Miss Frank (our Japanese Reeves turtle), and various and sundry doves in various and sundry positions around us.  Still waiting for that cake.  Our wedding turned out to be a different kind of perfect.

I would say 90 percent of the weddings I've done were pretty much the same ol', "Do you...?"  and "Do you...?" and "I now pronounce you husband and wife."  Traditionally speaking, that's good.  I like tradition.  But, unless you're planning a VERY formal church ceremony, you can make your wedding your very own by personalizing it.  I've always said a wedding is like live theater, but never was that more apparent as at a wedding I did last September at The Grand Island Mansion.  This guy owned half of San Francisco and was VERY clever.  He wanted a fun, unique wedding.  And under the direction of his wedding planner, no detail was spared down to the Beefeaters heralding the beginning of the formalities, groom entering in a vintage Harley sidecar wavin' like rock star, and everyone in period costume. 

If you're still soil testing to determine why your money tree won't bear fruit, there are many things you can do that cost little or none that will make your wedding ceremony like no other.  I may have mentioned sometime back that I was at a wedding where the bride was to enter by a horse drawn carriage.  There was the usual buzz at the site while all the guests were visiting with each other, but then after a while, the buzzing subsided.  Everyone stopped to listen...whazzat?  Somehow someone had miked the carriage, and still out of sight, the guests could hear the clip, clop...clip, clop of the horses hooves, and within a minute, Bride appeared.  It was brilliant.  Still gives me goosebumps.  Details.

Another memorable wedding was that of some Notre Dame fans...he and his buds were, anyway.  As the groom and his men came down the aisle, I saw that the FOG (Father Of the Groom) was holding something and there was some unusual activity and commotion as each passed him.  I asked later, what was up with that?  Someone said the FOG was holding a sign that said, "Play like a champion." Sweet.  But, it was years later that the whole meaning of it was revealed to me.  Supposedly, there's a sign at Notre Dame in the stairwell from the men's locker room to the stadium that says, "Play like a champion", and the team members each slap the sign as they walk past it.  See for yourself--rent the movie, "Rudy".  What a sweet story!  I mean, it's about football, guys.  Yeah, that's the ticket!  

If you're determined not to have a cookie cutter wedding, here's some P-POOs for inspiration:

1.  Unity candles are not new.  But, neither are dove releases, and both have significant symbolism attached, and add a beautiful, meaningful touch to a wedding.  I've said this before, if your ceremony is outdoors and you plan to light candles, use a hurricane.  This is one you'll want to plan WAY ahead, because a hurricane may not fit on the lovely candle set Aunt Betty sent you.  There are ways to MAKE it fit.  Call me if you get stuck.

1a.  Another repeat--if you're going to do the unity candle thing, don't make me look at that red plastic, disposable lighter that no one can figure out how to work, anyway.  If you have the bucks, a sterling cigar torch would be tres chic, but I just found a really pretty refillable one made by Zippo.  Ten bucks.  Refillable--repeat that and look for that word whenEVER you shop.  Our landfills are screamin'!  I bought mine at Linens 'n' Things.  Buy extras for goodie bags.  Take it to your rehearsal and make sure the principles receive ample instruction on how to use it!

2.  I saw a petite bride that, when it was time to kiss her way taller new husband for the first time, she made a "wait a minute" sign with her finger, went behind the candle table and fetched a little step stool.  Placed it in front of him and went in for a very comfortable smackeroo.  Very cute. 

3.  I LOVE to hear the stories!  How you met, what you love about each other, mushy/sweet stuff.  It's nice when you write letters to each other and your officiant reads them.  Writing your own vows is a nice idea, too, but really puts alot of pressure on some people.  And there's alot of pressure there, ANY way.  So think about that one if you can't handle it.

4.  This probably isn't the first time you've heard this one, but try to incorporate something of your family history, ancestry, culture, or tradition.  OR, this is your chance to create it for future generations.  Hard to imagine, but most likely, you'll be somebody's great grandparents some day!

5.  One clever bride recorded an audio message to her friends, family, and future husband that was played just before she made her grande entrance.  It was SO much fun watching the groom who had already taken his place at the "altar".  It's stuff like this that makes video mandatory!

6.  Overwhelmed with the research of ways of uniqueifying your celebration?  Your professional wedding service providers: officiants, 'ographers, musicians have been to hundreds of weddings and have seen lots of "interesting" things.  Ask 'em!  

The Dove Lady says she will release her doves at your Sacramento area wedding at a 50% discount if you're the first bride to call her and PROMISE to walk down the aisle to Jimi Hendrix's "Foxy Lady".  FOX-eh! 

Fine Print--Release of doves based on availability and your start time allows the doves ample space to return home before sunset, TBD by the Dove Lady.  Employees of Whitebird Ceremonial Dove Releases, associated agencies, vendors, and their immediate family members are not eligible to win.  Prize is not transferable and once accepted, no changes can be made.  Well, maybe little, teeny, tiny ones.  No cash redemption or substitution by winner permitted.  Amen.

Ten years and one month ago today, I was wrapping chocolate truffles at 10:30 in the evening as favors for my parents' 50th anniversary party which was to be held the following morning.  My then boyfriend noticed I was gnashing my teeth and he pitched in to help.  Grateful, I said, "Thanks, hon, now I know you REALLY love me!"  He said, "I just feel SORRY for you!"

Well, of course, he really loved/s me, but I truly was pitiful that night.  Waited 'til the last minute, though with the finest chocolate truffles, you can't buy them TOO far in advance, freshness and all.   So, anyway, I wrapped them in antique gold lace tied with a gold ribbon--pretty, but I know it took a few days off my life, even though I only had to do 50.  And didn't have a zillion OTHER things to do!

If you want something really nice, and I guaranTEE you will have a zillion other things to do the week before your wedding, you will want to hire a professional to design and produce your wedding favors.  As I've said before, if you  don't think you have the budget, consider what your time will be worth those last few days before your wedding. 

Susie, owner of Favors With Style, has put together some of the prettiest little packages I've ever seen.  Tell her a little bit about the two of you, hobbies, etcetera, and she'll suggest a favor, AND she'll custom design a gift tag, add some significant embellishments, all wrapped up perfectly.  Every favor is completed by hand.  She can also deliver the favors to your reception site and place them on the tables.  Some locations charge you extra if they have to futz with your stuff.  Susie can work miracles with short notice, so even if you're two weeks out, need 75 or more favors, and are starting to panic, call her.  You will be SO relieved! 

Bride Sarah asked me for favor ideas.  I told her to call Susie.  But, here are some P-POOs from my 18 years in the biz:

1.  Offer favors that will be appreciated and/or used.  You can't go wrong with good chocolate.  Notice I underlined "good"?  That's because you shouldn't cut corners and offer cheap chocolate. 

2.  Beware of cute chocolate--you know, little molded shapes.  Cute chocolate tries to get by on being cute.  It doesn't always taste good.  If you're the kind of person who can't tell the difference between Coke and Pepsi, or real and fake whipped cream or lemonade, enlist the help of someone who can.  M&Ms are okay, but (Personal Opinion Alert!) don't waste your money on customizing them.  If you have a message, print it on the favor box or tag.  All M&Ms need is an "M".  Anything else is just wrong.  And they come in such pretty colors!

3.  No one but your mother will keep that plastic cowboy hat that was filled with butter mints!  99.9 percent of anything cheap, tacky, or plastic will be in the land fill by week's end.

4.  Hire a professional.

5.  Be careful with breakables.  One wedding, they gave out spun glass do-dads, and it became a real safety issue once the kids got bored.

6.  If you must make your own favors, please dial WAY back on the tulle.  The only way you should use tulle is to cut strips and use it as you would ribbon to wrap a gift.  Speaking of tulle, please try to avoid festooning your wedding site with it--it's tired.

7.  If you're looking for the "pink link", here it is/was.

8.  Want something really tasty and unique, and FABulous?  Oh! Babette's 24 Kt. Caramels are gilded with real, edible 24 kt gold.  Swanky! 

9.  Yes, the favor itself is important, but remember, if they're going to be placed on your beautiful linens with your beautiful flowers as a back drop, the packaging is EXTRA important.  I won't say they have to match, but they should be complementary.

10.  We went to Sonoma the day my then boyfriend proposed exclusivity.  We stopped for supplies on our way out of town, and I STILL have that (now empty) box of animal crackers, and the mini Milky Way (it's in the fridge).  If you're a sentimental fool, too, and have a similar story of your courtship, use it!  Tie up that box of animal crackers or Cracker Jack with beautiful ribbon and a tag with your names and wedding date, and maybe a synopsis of why it's significant.  People love that (stuff)!

11.  I LOVE BUBBLES!  They're fun, and I almost always have some in my purse.  But, save them for merrying up your grand departure, because (Personal Opinion Alert!) they're not favors. 

12.  No matter how pretty they are, or clever the shape, (Personal Opinion Alert!) soap does NOT belong on a breakfast, lunch, or dinner table.

12a.  And I know I've mentioned this elsewhere, but I repeat, there is a proper hole punch for any particular job.  Please do not use a standard size hold punch if you intend to thread a delicate gold cord through it.  There is a  1/8th" punch for that job.  And if you want to festoon your favors/invitations with ribbon, use a rectangle punch.  Check our your friendly neighborhood office supply or craft store.  SO many punches!!  The right tool for the job.

The Dove Lady stamps her tiny feet when she is served Coke after ordering Pepsi.   She will NOT eat faux whipped cream.  And you already know what she'd rather do than drink fake lemonade...that's right...parch and get eaten alive by vultures.

And when you use the wrong size hole punch on your otherwise beautiful favors/invitations/__, it hurts The Dove Lady's eyes.  And her feelings.

Congratulations!  You set the date!  Now all you have to do is tell the world!  Every now and then I talk to a bride who hasn't even set a date.  Head spinning, she doesn't know where to start.  So we have a little chat, and she's on her way once I lay out a plan for her.  Mind you, it's a baby plan...I save the heavy lifting for the wedding coordinators.  But, you can't do ANYthing until you get the real estate (ceremony/reception sites) locked down.  That information (date, time, location) will enable you to reserve all your other services.  Then you better fasten your seatbelts, because you are rollin'!

Let me back up just a minute--many of you have planned your wedding without a fiance' in site, right?  Just like Debra told Ray (anybody watch "Everybody Loves Raymond"?) when he proposed, "I've been planning this since I was 12.  You're the final piece of the puzzle!"  For those of you who met Mr. Right last night, you can't ask the most popular D.J. in town "how much?" if you don't have a date, time, and location for her/him.  It's a scheduling thang.  See? 

Let me back up another minute.  You can't nail down the real estate until you have an idea of how big your guest list will be, i.e., that darling, bitty church in Coloma that you've had your heart set on will only hold 75 people, and that number barely covers YOUR family. 

Alrightie, then.  After you get all that taken care of AND finalize your budget (THAT'S the real "B" word !), you should start thinking about your invitations.  There is SO much out there, especially on-line.  But, if you're like me, and I know I am, I want to touch and feel.  If you're planning a tres cazh celebration on the ol' homestead, you could get away with something simple.  Your invitation should reflect the feel of your ceremony.  Questions so far?

EsPECially if you've never done this before, begin this part imMEDiately.  There is so much more to it than you'd imagine.  F'rinstance, I bought these beautiful six inch square envelopes last year to mail some 4x6 cards.  I finally got around to putting the mailer together and I'll be double-dog-danged if those envelopes weren't 5 15/16ths"!!  Sigh.  I had to trim two ends of the cards so they would fit, and then the other two sides so they wouldn't be lopsided.  And if that had been my wedding invitations and I had 250 of them to mail?  I would be a cryin' fool.  Especially if I had waited 'til the last minute.

This is why you should always allow WAY more time than you think any project will take.  And this is why you don't wait until the weekend before your timeline says you should mail your invitations (most folks say that's six weeks).

The other surprise I got was postage.  I knew the stuffed envelope would be a little heavier than a regular ol' 41 cent first class stamp could handle.  Fortunately, instead of weighing it on my office scale and stamping it and dropping it in the OUT box, I walked it into my post office.  It was 1.3 oz. and the nice (though uninformed) postperson told me those pretty little envelopes would cost me $1.30 EACH to mail.  I know whining does no good, but, I couldn't help myself.  A DOLLAR THIRTY?!  EACH?!?!?  C**p!!  And a few more c**ps for extra measure.

FROM THE GOOD NEWS DEPARTMENT--I went to usps.com.  I hardly ever have to go to the post office anymore.  The part where you calculate postage has changed with the times, and now asks you if your envelope is square.  Square costs more.  If you've inserted something that's not bendy, get ready.  Non-bendy costs more.  It only gave me the choice of square OR non-bendy.  Mine was both.  Square or bendy, two oz., cost $.75.  I still wanted to be sure so I went to a DIFFERENT post office.  The Good News--that $1.30 envelope only cost me $.97 (square & non-bendy) at the 'cross town post office.  Shhhhh...don't tell. 

I remember in a past life, my boss would get these aMAZing invitations to fabulous weddings and Bar/Bat Mitzvahs!  They were giGANtic, beautiful, heavy paper, some with REAL engraving.  I LOVED seeing these invitations and just imagined what the actual party would be like.  When the invitation was something very special, I knew the party would be, as well.

So if you want to touch and feel invitations before you place the order for one of the most important aspects of your whole celebration, yes, you can walk into any large stationery store and you can do that.  But, sweetiepies, I'm here to  tell ya it's a crapshoot as to whether you'll get someone who gives half a whit about you, your invitations, or your wedding.  Will s/he be there when you have questions?  Did she just break up with HER boyfriend?  Knowwhuttumsayin'?  Sara Hamm, Bella Vita Invitations, is someone who will hold your hand and walk you through the whole process.  Call her.  She has beautiful things, she does invitations, only, and will do a lovely job for you. 

P-POOs From The Invitationary Ideas Department--

1.  Need to trim the guest list?  Everybody who knows you by your first names only, stays.  That removes parents' co-workers, business associates, etcetera.  Means you won't have to hire crowd control, AND you can buy better champagne.

2.  After I got my engagement ring, I started planning.  Plan A was to elope to Niagara Falls.  I bought about 100 vintage Niagara Falls postcards which were going to be my after-the-fact wedding announcements, handwritten, with a Niagara Falls postmark.  I'm now saving them for the honeymoon.

3.  The United States Postal Service has lost sleep thinking up pretty stamps for your most important postings.  Please use them.  If you're planning a 4th of July barbeque, yes, you can use the flag stamps.  But, for your wedding invitations?  Buy the pretty ones, OR, have some USPS approved, custom printed stamps made with a favorite photo!

4.  I love sealing wax, and have used it since I was a kid.  Back then, they were sticks with a wick that involved fire and a big, fat hassle.  And messy.  If that turned you off, try again.  Now you can use a hot glue gun with your wax stamps.  Need help with yours?  Need to know where to find a fabulous selection?  Ask The Dove Lady.   She has great anti-sticking and other tips for using the new fangled sealing wax. 

5.  PLEASE, please, please, oh please, do NOT use address labels on your invitations!  Ewww!  Not even the clear ones!  The only stickers allowed are the pretty return address stickers that you use to seal your envelopes.  Check out the blind embossed ones.  They're very elegant, and if you order extras, you can use them for as long as you don't change addresses. 

6.  Sorry--you can't type the addresses, either.  That's TOtally taboo.  Enlist the help of anyone with decent handwriting to help you address them.  Bake a cake and make a party of it! 

7.  And who doesn't LOVE receiving an invitation with hand calligraphy?  It's tres chic, tres fabu, up town, all the way first class!  A calligrapher can also do your menu cards, place cards, seating cards, your program...priiiidy.  Call Sally with Monks of Age Calligraphy. 

8.  Are you the bride that wants to stack donuts for her wedding cake and serve her guests fried eggs?  Been there, heard about that.  I didn't see her invitations, but if you're an Xtreme bride, save up all your mac'n'cheese, cereal boxes, etcetera.  Cut them a uniform size, print your invitations on some heavy card stock and glue them to the pieces of boxes and then trim.  SASS-eh!!  A guillotine paper cutter will make it a breeze.  Do this only if it's so YOU, that people will exclaim, "Oh, it's SO HER!!" 

9.  If you MUST make your own invitations/programs, enlist a PP (Picky Person) to tell you, honestly, whether what you have designed is tacky or not.  You can't use cereal boxes for a formal wedding.  And do not use wimpy paper.  Xpedex has a great selection of beautiful papers.  They're at 1059 Vine Street in Sacramento. 

10.  Do you want a photograph of the two of your on your Save The Date or thank you notes?  My darling and I found a photo booth at the UA Arden Fair theater.  It took two photos of us, let us decide which one we preferred and then did a pencil drawing of the photo while we watched!  It was a perfect likeness of us, and it was only a couple bucks.  Even if you don't want something like that for your wedding stationery, go do it anyway.  It's cool.   

11.  The owners and vendors of Whitebird Ceremonial Dove Releases have been reusing, reducing, and recycling since well before the very first Earth Day to help save the planet, so we're not going to say your response card must have its very own envelope.  We're not THAT picky.  But, we feel (PPA!) we must advise you to avoid, if you can, ordering the kind of invitations where the response card is attached, perforated, and is to be torn off and mailed.  It screams "CHEAP!" 

12.  Want to add a romantic line to your stationery?  "Today I marry my best friend" is sweet, but tired.  Pick a line from a favorite song, i.e., "And I love you so, the people ask me how, how I lived 'til now, I tell them I don't know." or "I found all I waited for, and I could not ask for more."  Your wedding is a day you can get away with total mushiness.

13.  If your do-it-yourself invitation plan involves punching holes, please go to your office supply store and get a proper hole punch.  The standard ones won't do for this.  Get a punch that makes small holes and/or skinny rectangular holes, depending on what you plan to run through them.  They also have really neat ones that round off or embellish corners.  Details, details, details. 

The Dove Lady has about 15 different paper punches in her arsenal.  And  she generally prefers crowds of two or fewer.

Funerals.  Nobody wants to talk about them, but they're something that anyone who knows and loves another human being and lives long enough, will experience.  You're living a, hopefully, long and productive life, gathering information and unique experiences, loving and learning all along, and then...you stop.  The wisdom and what mysteries you may have unraveled had you lived longer, all gone.  It's the kink in the universe and what's very wrong with the world.  But, you leave behind beautiful memories, lessons, and your love. 

One of the most interesting things I've ever done was to visit a funeral home and have myself "prearranged".  That's when you make all you arrangements for your funeral and outline everything you want.  And DON'T want!  It's a very good thing to do for two reasons: If you want ANY say/control in what happens to you after your spirit has left the building, here's your chance.  Not only does it make everything clear/easy for your family, but, Reason #2, it's all paid for, so they don't have to think about that, either.  What a wonderful gift of love.

Over the years, I've received several calls from people planning their own funerals.  And they wanted to specify in their prearrangements that they want to release doves at their funeral.  I've had some lovely conversations with these people...very interesting.  They ask such good questions about the doves and I tell them that I love going to weddings and grand openings, but I think the doves serve their most beneficial purpose at funerals and celebrations of life.  It's true.  It's that tangible letting go and a thing of great beauty at a difficult time. 

Here's a list of funeral homes in the Sacramento area that participate in "pre-need" programs.  "Pre-need" means before you need it, of course.  "At need"...you don't get to play...it becomes your family's responsibility.

Morgan Jones Funeral Home, (916) 452-4444, www.morganjonesfuneralhome.com

W. F. Gormley & Sons, (916) 443-6513

Thompson Funeral Home, (916) 455-3038, www.thompsonfuneralhomeinc.com

Sunset Lawn Chapel of the Chimes, (916) 922-5833, www.lifemarkgroup.com

Sacramento Memorial Lawn, (916) 421-1171

Nicoletti, Culjis & Herberger, (916) 451-7284, www.nicoletticuljisherbergerfunerals.com

Lombard & Company Funeral Directors, (916) 483-3297, www.lombardcofuneraldirectors.com

East Lawn Andrews & Greilich, (916) 732-2026

East Lawn Sierra Hills Memorial Park, (916) 732-2020,

East Lawn Elk Grove Memorial Park and Mortuary, (916) 732-2031

East Lawn Memorial Park, 43rd and Folsom Blvd., 732-2000, www.eastlawn.com

Harry A. Nauman & Son, (916) 452-6157

Chapel of Flowers, George L. Klumpp,  (916) 443-7917, www.klumppsfuneralhome.com

Sacramento Funeral Chapel, (916) 391-8069, www.sfchapel.com

Nightingale-Gilmore Funeral Chapel, 925-3549

Russ Monroe's Funeral Chapel, (916) 961-1265, www.russmonroes.com

Sierra View Funeral Chapel, (916) 481-1515, www.sierraviewfuneralchapel.com

River Cities Funeral Chapel, 371-4535, www.rivercitiesfuneralchapel.com

North Sacramento Funeral Home, 922-9668, www.northsacfuneralhome.com

Herberger's Elk Grove Funeral Chapel, (916) 686-1888, www.elkgrovechapel.com

Lambert Funeral Home, 783-0474 

Price Funeral Chapel, 725-2109, www.pricefuneralchapel.com

Lind Brothers Mortuary, 482-8080, www.lindbrotherssacramento.com

Mount Vernon Memorial Park, 969-1251

Miller Funeral Home, 985-2295, www.millerfuneralhomefolsom.net  

Wiscombe's Davis Funeral Home, (530) 758-5500, www.wiscombefuneral.com

McNary's Chapel, (530) 662-5411, Woodland

Reichert's Funeral & Cremation Services, 729-2229, www.reichertsfuneral.com 

Rocklin Whitney Funeral Chapel, (916) 630-1010, www.brwfc.com

Heritage Oaks Memorial Chapel, (916) 791-2273, www.heritageoaksmc.com

Green Valley Mortuary, (530) 677-7171, www.greenvalleymortuary.com

The Dove Lady wants you to know there's also a place for your furry and/or feathered or other non-human members of your family.  Sierra Hills Pet Cemetery is a beautiful final resting place for your critters.  We lost our two kitties, Chloe and Lulu, each at age 18, a year apart, five and six years ago.  We still feel the loss.  The folks at Sierra Hills were caring and compassionate.  We had them cremated and I felt they were treated with no less dignity than they would my human family.  Tell 'em The Dove Lady sent you.